Today started out with a big old dose of downer. I woke from a very vivid dream in which my parents were still married (they separated when I was 26ish) and my mom had left my dad. I was still living at home in my dream, and I wanted to go with her. Normally I would have, but for some reason she'd left me, too. My dad was really worried about finances and where the money was going. I was just sad. I went to school, which was a combination of high school and college. It was my high school, but there were bedrooms there like dorm rooms. I went into a couple but none were mine. I couldn't remember what my classes were or where they were. It was nearly noon and I was very late and very sad about my mom leaving. I wandered into one room, and there was qaratani . She was younger, too, like me, and had her hair in pony tails (I do not recall seeing teenaged Cody with pony tails, ever, her hair was short, but let's just go with that, shall we? In the dream they symbolized her joyful nature and cute dimples.) I think she was a cross between herself and my good friend Heather. Anyway, I was so happy to see her, to have stumbled into her room. I explained about my mom and she said we should go have lunch at Pizza Hut and I should just take the rest of the day off. I thought that seemed like a good idea, so I checked in with the principal, who was my old store manager from when I worked at Best, Harriet. She gave me the rest of the day off. Other things happened, but when I woke up I was so sad, because of course my mom HAD left me, and I couldn't go with her, because duh, she's dead. I just missed her so much right then, and my sister, who is my biggest firmest tie to my mother, being the only other person my mom gave birth to. My mom's been in my dreams a lot. Mundane ones, mostly. I think I prefer them to the dream in which she was painfully NOT present.

Anyway, it got better. I couldn't talk about my dream when I woke up because it was too near the surface, but Travis managed to make me feel better anyway. We got up and went fishing early. Chloe caught her first rainbow trout on her first cast, and was pretty much done fishing after that. :-) How could it get better, I guess. I caught two fish yesterday afternoon, but this morning no one else caught anything the whole time we were out there. It was still nice to be with my family, though.

Other highlights of the day included a nap, a dinner lovingly grilled by my beloved, and a long, contentious game of Sorry that Ethan finally won. We don't play board games with all of us very often, so it was extra cool as far as Ethan and Chloe were concerned. They love doing things with their dad. I played some City of Villains with Travis and some City of Heroes by myself (but sitting next to T. who was playing his own CoH game).  I made coconut cream pie for dessert and we ate it in the backyard  watching the fireworks while the dog ran around the yard like a maniac repeatedly finding, chasing, and then losing walnuts that he kept pulling off the walnut tree. I think he thinks it's a dog ball tree. The sound track for the fireworks is interspersed with presidential quotes, and I used to plug my ears during some of them, (cough, GWB, cough) but this year, there were segments from Obama's "Yes We Can" speech. Hurrah! I don't know if GWB's quotes were in there still. I heard Reagan and JFK, but not him.  Also, Ray Charles' "America the Beautiful" which is one of my favorites.

Everyone's in bed now, and I'm going there too.

This is for my beloved, who knows the proper response to "Well I don't wanna rule the world."

Ok, I'm done.

This is one of my all time favorite Pacific Northwest bands of the early 90s, the amazing Blackhappy. Unfortunately we were unable to go to Greenstock that year, but someone did, and they kindly posted it on YouTube. 
 
Ladies and Gentlemen, the one and only Blackhappy! They started out as a Christian Rock group, but then they got "Horns! Horns! Horns!" and also a broader range of music that still said something but was fun as all heck. If my recent (five minutes ago) research is correct, their lead singer is now a Lutheran Minister.

kitty.

Ethan's was "thank you!"
Chloe's was "Uh-oh."

Happy Birthday to my husband Travis!

So he wouldn't miss out on two days of special, we celebrated his birthday yesterday so we could celebrate Father's Day today. The birthday man enjoyed Fazzari's pizza take out and homemade Wacky cake with peanut butter frosting. For those of you not in the know, "Wacky Cake" is an eggless cake made by combining flour, sugar, cocoa and leavening, then adding oil, vinegar, vanilla, and water.  It's supposed to be mixed right in the pan with the wet ingredients poured into wells made in the dry ingredients. I mix them in a bowl, though, because the pan method makes it hard to get any lumps out. Anyway, it's really just a holder for the peanut butter frosting.  I was so glad SOMEone wanted me to make their birthday cake. Lately E. and C. just want ice cream cakes from Baskin Robbins. :-)

I bought three silly birthday balloons and tied them to T.'s chair, because I wanted him to feel special. :-) No really.  His presents weren't very varied; four cds, but music is one of his favorite things, so I didn't feel bad about that.

Anyway, Happy, Happy Birthday to my beloved. I think you are more handsome now than when we met, and I KNOW I am more crazy in love with you than ever. (No, not just crazy, thank you.)

Happy Father's day to you as well.  We hope you liked your Father's Day present.

Well what do you know, the Eman DID live to be 11 after all! Photographic evidence to follow.

I have to say that my boy greatly impressed me today.  Though I wanted to beat him for bounding into my bedroom at 6 a.m. singing happy birthday to himself, he was a tremendous help cleaning the house and did everything I asked cheerfully and without any whining. All voluntary, too--he approached me repeatedly asking what else needed doing. .It was awesome. Then when MissThing heard me thanking her brother over and over, she asked what she could do to help, and then pitched in beautifully. I told them that if they're willing to help me like that every morning, we'll have tons of time for fun all summer.

I made one today.  Rhubarb custard. Delicious even to one like myself who is not a rhubarb fanatic. It's still cooling.

After waking up early every day, I expected to wake up early today, too. Sun shines brightly through my window. However, I was restless in bed last night, couldn't fall asleep, and danged if I didn't sleep until the alarm went off, and for a few minutes after that. Now I have to move quickly to get all the stuff done I thought I'd do when I woke up before my alarm!  I am indeed a dork. A big dork, because I'm posting this and not moving. I am having trouble focusing today, does it show?

Happy Anniversary to my Sweetlove who was crazy enough to marry me 17 years ago today.  I was going to write a bunch of mushy stuff about how much I love him and how glad I am that we're married, and how lucky we are that we have so far managed to keep it together and got 2 fabu children in the bargain. But he knows all that.

Go us!

Last night I told Ethan and Chloe the short version of how we met, and how Travis remembered me from the Young Writers Scholarship Competition banquet we'd both attended the previous spring. (Our good friendqayne , who along with khalja  was responsible for our meeting, actually  won said competition that year) Upon hearing that we had initially seen each other, and had our picture taken together at a scholarship competition, Ethan said "Of course, you met because of your smarts! Oh yeah, I'm a genius! I inherited it from both of you!"  That Travis was a fellow writer and drama person WAS cool, but it was how protective of me he seemed,  how just plain "real" he was, and how my stomach did a little flip flop on August 2nd, 1986 when we hugged for the last time as just friends, that had the biggest part in my loving him so much.  I spent that night at khalja 's house, and she pronounced him a "stretched out version of  Mr. Wonderful." for me as we sat in bed eating chocolate chip cookies from Albertson's and I wrote him a letter in orange felt tip marker (our mutual least favorite color in the universe at the time--It should only exist in nature--pumpkins, leaves, fire.)  By the end of August 3rd, we were a couple, and we've been so ever since.

Small amount of weeding done: check!
Children sent to school on time: check!
With order for tickets for summer movie series? Check!
Coffee consumed: (the first I bought this week, go me!) check!
Groceries shopped: check!
Friend talked to on phone: check!
Food put away and lunch consumed: check!
Dog played with: check!
Dead fishie disposed of (poor fishies, they're all so old for fish, some over 3 years): check!
Sister and adorable nephew talked to, also on phone (we counted together-1,2, 5!, and he said 'I love you, Jewieee." I cry.): check!
Husband seduced upon arriving home from work early: check!
30plus minutes of exercise on WiiFit completed (every day this week!): check!
Daughter and son hugged  and kissed before son went to friends house: check!
Very enjoyable shower with new nice smelling shampoo taken: check!
Decent dinner of marmalade chicken over rice cooked and consumed: check!
Son picked up: check!
Community Theatre production of Miss Saigon attended: check! (Chloe's teacher played keyboard in the orchestra! Can't wait to tell Chloe.)
Cried at end, even though I've seen Mdme. Butterfly twice and knew how it ended: check.!
Camaraderie with friend I attended play with enjoyed: check!
Kissed children asleep in their beds: check!
Moderate amount of chocolate consumed: check!
Lame journal entry about what was actually a pretty good day for a Thursday written: check!

P.S. Miss Saigon was very good. The helicopter scene was heartbreaking, and very realistic, what with the searchlight shining repeatedly directly into my eyes! I've seen the woman who played Kim in several high school productions, and she was about a zillion times better in this. She could always really sing, but wow has she grown as a performer since she graduated 2 years ago.

I bought a magazine today solely because the celebrity pictured on the cover is a man I find to be both intelligent and intriguing, and  ok, ok, not terribly hard on the eyes.   Plus, he is funny. I love a funny, smart man. That'd be why I married one.

The magazine? Newsweek.

The coverboy? Barack Obama

I swear, I bought it for the articles!!

I got behind a BMW today. The driver was sticking his/her hand through the sun roof periodically, presumably flicking the ash off a cigarette.  I got close enough to read the license plate. It said "BTRTHNU."

I beg to differ. :-)

I love being a mom. I do. My children make me crazy, but whose doesn't?  I love their senses of humor, their senses of self, and watching them grow in and out of those all the time.  I've enjoyed nearly every bit of being their mother, and I feel lucky and privileged to be so. So on that side, Mother's Day rocks. Though I don't think they made me presents at school this year, just having two children who love me is an amazing gift in itself. I will sleep in tomorrow and maybe make some brownies to take to Travis' parents' house where the menfolk will make with the fire and the cheeseburgers while my MIL and I goof off.

But on the other side, I am somebody's daughter. A wonderful and so very missed somebody's daughter. I hate shopping for mother's day cards for Travis' mom--ok, I don't hate giving her a card, I even sent her a special one just from me this year. I love her very much and am so happy to have her in my life.  She's been nothing but good to me and our children. Even HER mother has been nothing but gracious and kind to us. I lucked out big time in the in-law department all around.

It's just that I used to have so much fun picking out cards for my mom. Half the time she'd get two: a funny one, and one that was guaranteed to make us both cry.  I have to sift through a lot of cards to find one for my MIL that suits the relationship she has with Travis and/or is good to be from all of us. In the meantime I have to read a zillion cards I'd like to send my mom. It's not that I can't tell her I love her, or imagine giving these cards to her. I could/can do all that. But I just miss her physical person very much. No one knew me so well and loved me unconditionally anyway. No one else told me I was pretty EVERY time she saw me, and meant it.  So on that side, with the dead mom, Mother's Day sorta sucks.

Sadly, I know a few of you who understand this. Motherhood is a glorious and wonderful thing. I am lucky to have the children I have, and to have had the mother I had.



So Happy Mother's day to my fellow mothers, and fathers who have to nurture like mothers. Happy Mother's Day to our mothers as well, wherever they are.

I was doing a quick before bed channel scan tonight and found that Ani Difranco was featured on PBS's The Artists Den.  Travis and I were just talking about her, how we (ok, I love her, T. might not use that word)  love her, but her newer stuff doesn't thrill us as much as some of her older work.

Still, I thought, I'll record this and maybe watch it later. So I hit the record button. . .and then immediately became completely sucked in. Because you know what? I love her voice, and her honesty, and her smile, and her drummer, Allison, who has dimples that remind me of my oldest friend, Cody. She played a lot of songs that I really like, but I kept hoping to hear my favorite.  She has one song that I want for a theme song. It best be played at my funeral. It really reminds me of my mom, and her legacy, and what I want to be when I grow up. What is that, you ask?  Well, friends o' mine, what I want to be when I grow up. . .Is a Joyful Girl.  She didn't play it tonight, but she did play it back in 1999 in this video I found on You Tube.

And you know what else? She totally wrote this song for her MOM!!  How cool is that?

( Lyrics here )

Because I just sucked down that g.d. Famous Teenybopper Vampire Book like it was some sort of delicious angst milkshake. Thank you, Ms. Meyer, may I have another?  Travis' co-worker is lending them to me two at a time. I'm going to wait a few minutes   hours days before I read the second one.

The sound of the shopping carts I keep getting at Safeway. They make this creaking, squeaking whiny noise that feels like it can be heard on Pluto. I never hear it until I have at least 10 items in the cart. Next time I am going to put a 20 lb bag of flour in the cart and push it around for 5 minutes to make sure it's not noisy.  

I went grocery shopping today and the meat department was seriously lacking in the sorts of meats I wanted. No flank steak, no smaller packages of chicken breast fillets. . . etc. So I bought some whole chicken breasts because I have this easy and delicious recipe for oven bbq chicken breasts. Somewhere. I can't find it. All I know is you stick the chicken into a baking dish, add an onion sliced and separated into rings and stir together some very easy yet tasty conglomeration of barbecue saucy things that you pour over the top. Then it gets covered with foil and goes into the oven at some temperature, for some amount of time and comes out yummy.

Yes, I could fake my way through it, but I want my recipe, dammit!!!

Ok. done complaining.